Millionaire art dealer Charles Saatchi today told a court he was "utterly heartbroken to have lost" his ex-wife Nigella Lawson and called himself a "drama queen" for an email he sent accusing her of "sorry depravity".
He made the comments at the trial of two former assistants to the celebrity couple who are alleged to have used his company's credit cards to spend more than £685,000 on themselves.
Prosecutors claim Italian sisters Francesca and Elisabetta Grillo lived the "high life" at their employers' expense, splashing out on designer clothes and handbags from Louis Vuitton, Christian Dior and Vivienne Westwood.
They admit making the transactions but say Miss Lawson was so high on drugs she was unaware of what she had or had not permitted them to spend.
In pre-trial discussions, it emerged Mr Saatchi - after reading the defendants' statements - sent Miss Lawson an email, in which he referred to her as "Higella", saying she and her teenage daughter were "so off your heads” on cocaine the assistants would "get off".
Today previously undisclosed sections were read out by Elisabetta's defence counsel Anthony Metzer to jurors at Isleworth crown court.
"I could only laugh at your sorry depravity," the email began.
"I'm sure it was all great fun and now everything is perfect today. Bravo. You have become a celebrity hostess on a global TV gameshow and you got the pass you desired, free to heartily enjoy all the drugs you want forever. Classy!"
Asked about the email, which he stressed only ended up in the public domain because Miss Lawson showed it to her lawyers, he said: "I was just being nasty. This is not a pleasant email but I was very upset...it's me being a drama queen that's exactly what it is.
"I'm utterly heartbroken to have lost Nigella and I wish this last year had never happened. So if you think this process is giving me any pleasure I hate it...I absolutely adored Nigella."
The court also heard that Mr Saatchi threatened to sue Miss Lawson after she tried to pull out as a witness in the trial. Mr Metzer suggested the pre-action letter sent by his lawyers in October was drafted on the basis he believed his ex-wife may have authorised the payments -neglecting her duty to monitor the expenditure on the company cards - because of the drugs. But Mr Saatchi said it was only intended to make her reconsider and had "worked" because she agreed to give evidence.
He said: "The purpose of the letter was to say to Nigella you can't just walk away from this trial and say it's my problem...it's your baby too.
"Do I think she was 'off her head'? Not for a second. During this whole period she was writing books very successfully and performing on TV very successfully. I don't believe for a second she was so addled she said 'go ahead and spend this money'."
He also accused Mr Metzer of calling him a "liar" for suggesting it was possible Miss Lawson had allowed the expenditure and added he had never seen his ex-wife taking drugs.
When the incident at Scott's restaurant in Mayfair earlier this year was raised by Mr Metzer, he said: "I was not gripping, strangling or throttling her. I was holding her head by her neck. I wanted her to focus."
Of the two assistants, Francesca, 35, is said to have spent the most money on her credit card, which was registered to Conarco Partnership - one of Mr Saatchi's companies.
She was estimated to have used it to buy goods for herself worth more than £580,000 and in June last year alone ran up a £64,000 bill, it is alleged.
Her 41-year-old sister's total spend was estimated to be around £105,000, the court heard previously.
Mr Saatchi and Ms Lawson ended their 10-year marriage in an acrimonious divorce earlier this year after pictures were published in a newspaper showing him holding the TV chef by the throat.
The Grillos, both of Kensington Gardens Square, Bayswater, west London, deny the charge against them.
It is alleged that between January 1 2008 and December 31 2012, they committed fraud by abusing their positions as PAs by using a company credit card for personal gain.
Ms Lawson is expected to give evidence in the trial next Wednesday.
The trial continues.
