The best Christmas night in
What do you think will be the most widely enjoyed TV programme over Christmas? Public taste is notoriously hard to forecast. However, you wouldn't go far wrong by predicting The Office, starring Ricky Gervais.
But I don't mean the Christmas Special on BBC1. No, the big hit is likely to be the DVD editions of series one and two, now rushing out of shops across the country.
It used to be that we relied on the TV to keep us happy over the holiday period, but this year it's a dismal line-up. BBC1's idea of keeping us entertained is an EastEnders singalong night, in which members of the cast are joined at the Queen Vic by such top-notch acts as Liberty X, Lulu and Suggs. ITV offers us festive (that is, extended) editions of Emmerdale and Coronation Street, plus a Stars in Their Eyes Special which really does abuse the meaning of the word "special", featuring as it does Russell Grant and Sam Fox.
So what has happened to break television's old stranglehold on the nation's Christmas viewing habits?
One major influence has been a change of heart by advertisers. When tens of millions of us used to sit down after Christmas lunch to spend the next eight hours in front of the box, the country's retailers reckoned they had a captive audience. They forked out millions for premium Christmas advertising slots.
But now they have woken up to the truth: by the time the big day arrives, viewers have had enough of spending. In recent years, advertisers have saved their money and consequently ITV and BBC save big new productions for the new year.
And then there are blockbuster films. They used to be sure-fire winners, but the number of movies shown on Christmas Day has fallen by almost half in recent years. Why? Because the public has already seen many of the big ones - on DVD.
The trend is circular: DVDs weaken TV, so more people buy DVDs, which weakens TV further. But, at the same time, sales of DVDs can boost the money programmemakers receive and the popularity of a show. One of the men behind a cult Channel 4 TV comedy said recently: "God, I wish we were coming out on DVD this Christmas."
So, let's eat, drink and buy DVDs, because then we won't have to sit in front of horrors like Animals Do the Funniest Things at Christmas. And if those sorts of programmes receive the ratings they deserve, maybe TV bosses will get the message and banish them. That way, DVD will have killed off TV's Christmas turkeys for good.
