Liz Jones' cheating husband speaks out over divorce

Their rocky relationship - including his numerous infidelities and shortcomings as a husband - has been publicly documented by Mail on Sunday columnist Liz Jones.

After four years of marriage, she is finally divorcing writer Nirpal Dhaliwal.

But in a frank magazine interview, Nirpal reveals why the couple came to the inevitable decision.

Talking to Grazia magazine this week, Nirpal says he hated being written about and admits the marriage should have ended long ago.

"The most striking thing about being in a dysfunctional marriage is how long you stay in it, despite the unhappiness," he muses. "My marriage should have ended two years ago - yet we both stuck at it, though it was perfectly clear we had no future together."

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He said that despite being described as lazy, unfaithful-insensitive and selfish, and portrayed as a "complete bastard", the public who meet him are "pleasantly surprised at what a decent guy I turned out to be".

He adds: "Of all the problems that have plagued my marriage - my infidelities, my slovenliness, Liz's manic tidiness and neurotic high-maintenance - it has been interesting to note that the issue that has most bothered me, and been the most constant, was the one Liz never mentioned in her columns: the columns themselves.

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"I hated being written about. It caused a great deal of tension between us, and filled me with bitterness. To a large extent, it was a motivating factor in my own shabby, unhealthy attitude towards our relationship. Liz shrewdly kept this out of the public eye. Had she made this known, her columns couldn't be read as a mere window into someone else's marriage. People would have seen them for what they were: a self-inflicted wound, meted out in a Sunday supplement every single week."

The couple met in 2000. "The attraction was immediate. She was a successful magazine editor, a dynamic woman with great style. I thought she was stunning. She had a lovely smile and a wonderful girlish sense of humour."

At the time Nirpal was 26 years old, at the start of his own media career, but "earning a fraction of her salary. I couldn't believe that she wanted to be involved with me. She blew me away."

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After a fairly traumatic childhood that saw his father declared bankrupt and the loss of the family home, "Liz seemed to offer an escape: an affluent and secure life that held none of the fears I'd grown up with", Nirpal says.

"At the beginning of our relationship, we had agreed that I could stay home and try to fulfil my dream of becoming a writer. But it took a lot longer than we thought it would, and the initial rejections I received from publishers knocked my self-confidence.

"I could have contributed a great deal more to the household, but Liz's carping about me in her columns - telling the world how overweight I had become, and how slovenly I was - had demoralised me."

In the interview, Nirpal accuses Liz of placing her public reputation above the health of their relationship, which led to resentment.

"My laziness around the house was a sort of revenge, offending Liz's compulsive need for tidiness, he says. "And I also lost sexual interest in her. She is, and always was, a very attractive woman, but my anger made me withhold sex.

Referring to his infidelities, he speaks of his 'life-changing' trip to India, where "I also met several women".

"Liz claims I was just looking for easy shags. But the truth is I can't find a woman sexually attractive unless she possesses at least the possibility that I can fall in love with her."

He admits that "for the last year, Liz and I were living on borrowed time.

"In April, I went on holiday with Liz and her sister, and her sister's son. It was there that I realised I couldn't be in this marriage a moment longer."

During a tense heart-to-heart, he admitted he had again been unfaithful since returning from India.

"I don't know what the future holds for me. Though I've been in an unhappy marriage, my faith in life and love has actually been renewed. My experiences have given me insight into what I truly want from a relationship: sincerity, openness and mutual respect."