Debs they ain't! The celebrities who flout the new etiquette guide for modern women

Dishevelled: Courtney Love breaks almost every rule in the Debrett's guide as she hitches a lift in a supermarket trolley
11 April 2012
The Weekender

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Debrett's has brought out a new updated Etiquette Guide For Girls to cover every modern social eventuality, from how much fake tan to wear to falling out in public. But which stars fall foul of these new social rules? Here, we print some of its guidelines. Any further comment is unnecessary...




THE RULE: Fake tanning is very problematic. It not only reeks, but it collects in the hairline and eyebrows, on corners (knees, elbows and ankles) and in webbed bits (toes, fingers).
THE OFFENDER: Celebrity Big Brother's Chantelle.

THE RULE: Bad make-up is worse than no make-up, and usually bad means too much.
THE OFFENDER: Katie Price (Jordan).

Fake tanning, as demonstrated by Chantelle, is problematic: it reeks and gets caught in hairline and between fingers. And Katie Price, right, displays the perils of too much make up

THE RULE: Indulging vanity publicly by partaking in excessive posing, pouting and preening will always appear rather desperate.
THE OFFENDER: The Beckhams.

THE RULE: Don't be in denial about your dress size: bulging out of too-small clothes does not grant automatic inclusion into that size. Clothes that are obviously ill-fitting are equally ugly.
THE OFFENDER: Kerry Katona.

Posing up: Public indulgence of vanity will always appear desperate, Mr and Mrs Beckham. And Ms Katona: bulging out of too-small clothes does not grant automatic inclusion into that size

THE RULE: Wearing tight white jeans always invites trouble.
THE OFFENDER: Elizabeth Hurley.

Dog's dinner: 'More is more' is the motto for Victoria Beckham, left, while Elizabeth Hurley, right, risks breaking the Debrett's rule with her all-white look

THE RULE: Never wear sunglasses indoors, in the pool, after dark, when talking to strangers or at weddings (so trashy).
THE OFFENDER: Martine McCutcheon.

THE RULE: Avoid baseball caps at all costs.
THE OFFENDER: Lily Allen.


Someone should tell Martine McCutcheon that sunglass-wearing in the pool is "trashy", according to Debrett's, and baseball caps like Lily Allen's should be "avoided at all costs".

THE RULE: Underwear as outerwear is a most regrettable fad.
THE OFFENDER: Madonna.

THE RULE: Wearing sheer shirts that reveal bras underneath is brazen exhibitionism.
THE OFFENDER: Cheryl Cole.

Underwear as outerwear is a most regrettable fad, says Debrett's, and something to which Madonna is no stranger. While on the theme, wearing sheer shirts that show your bra is brazen exhibitionism, Cheryl Cole

THE RULE: Swimsuits must look becoming, so ensure they are neither too big nor too small.
THE OFFENDER: Peter Stringfellow.

THE RULE: Public altercations are instant poise-crushers. Save all the high emotion for home.
THE OFFENDER: Big Brother's Charley Uchea.

Bottoms up! Peter Stringfellow shamelessly flouts Debrett's guidelines on swimwear being "neither too big nor too small", while ex-BB housemate Charley Uchea's public fracas is an "instant poise crusher"

THE RULE: Don't over-expose. Sagging boobs in plunging tops are unsightly. Flashing bra straps on formal occasions is most disagreeable.

Over-familiar: Stand-on-ceremony etiquette is to be observed when meeting royalty, Geri Halliwell. And as royalty, Zara Phillips should know better than to over-expose boobs in a plunging top - it's plain "unsightly"

THE RULE: Hair no-nos include tacky extensions.
THE OFFENDER: Britney Spears.

THE RULE: Over-plucking is terribly unsightly.
THE OFFENDER: Janet Jackson.

Hairum scarum: Britney Spears' visible hair extensions are "tacky", while Janet Jackson's over-plucked eyebrows would be classed "unsightly" by the guide

THE RULE: Even with years of experience, it is still hard to judge quite where alcohol turns from a social lubricant into a tool for total shame. Becoming rag-doll floppy or passing out in front of others is never sexy or safe and is wholly irresponsible.
THE OFFENDER: Charlotte Church.

THE RULE: You must strike a balance between hard and soft (neither the dominatrix look nor chocolate-box sweetness).
THE OFFENDER: Britney Spears.

One-time party girl Charlotte Church shows how not to exit a nightclub, while Britney Spears struggles to strike that balance between "dominatrix" and "chocolate box sweet"

THE RULE: Nails should never be dirty, acrylic, or more than 3mm long.
THE OFFENDER: Britney Spears.

THE RULE: Unbroken horizons, dazzling sunsets, the sense of freedom, cocktails in the cockpit. All are implicit with a yachting invitation. The sybarite, however, might be rather less impressed to find herself rolling up her sleeves to be all hands on deck.

Nailing it: Britney's long acrylic tips are a no-no, while Cherie's all-hands-on-deck mentality while yachting is simply not cricket

THE RULE: Good turn out - dress, hygiene, grooming and a collected manner are highly persuasive.

Dishevelled: Courtney Love breaks almost every rule in the Debrett's guide as she hitches a lift in a supermarket trolley

Dishevelled: Courtney Love breaks almost every rule in the Debrett's guide as she hitches a lift in a supermarket trolley

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