Eloquent London barrister praised for hilarious tale of commuter trying to suppress sneeze on packed Tube train

'It begins as a sort of spasm deep down inside the guy, an irrepressible wave of energy building from his abdomen'
The sneeze: His Twitter followers described how they laughed hysterically when they read the tale
Nigel Howard

A London barrister has been praised for sharing a hilarious tale of how he watched a teenager desperately trying to suppress his sneeze on a packed Tube train.

Jamie Susskind was understood to be travelling on the Central line from east London during the morning rush on Wednesday when the incident unfolded.

In a series of 19 Twitter posts, the Littleton Chambers barrister eloquently described how a teenager battled to stop the sneeze on the busy line.

The thread has since gone viral, with the posts collectively receiving way over 7,000 retweets on the social media site.

Mr Susskind said he made eye contact with the boy, who he said was about 17 years old, while fellow commuters “recoil” as he struggles to contain the sneeze.

“For a moment I wonder if he might be able to suppress it. He's trying his best. He's doing everything he can. But I can see that he is ultimately powerless. Like a gathering storm, the sneeze cannot be resisted. It is a force of nature,” Mr Susskind wrote.

He added: “I can still see it in slow motion. It begins as a sort of spasm deep down inside the guy, an irrepressible wave of energy building from his abdomen, spreading up through his chest and neck, rushing to burst out through his nose.”

“His head jerks back, hitting the door behind him. His eyes are closed. In the same second, the people surrounding him begin instinctively to recoil.”

The barrister, an Oxford University graduate who has written a book about the future of politics, said what happened next he will remember “until the day I die”.

“His jaw clamped shut, our man somehow takes the full brunt of the sneeze internally. His entire face - cheeks and upper neck area - expand outward like a bullfrog before rapidly contracting again. He emits two noises simultaneously: a high-pitched squeak and a deep, gutteral (sic) moan.”

“It was LOUD. Half the carriage crane to look. No one knows what's going on. The guy's eyes are half-closed and streaming with moisture. Were it not for the passengers propping him up, he'd have collapsed from the effort.”

Mr Susskind said he again made eye contact with the teenager. He went on: “He must have seen the admiration on my face because he gave me an imperceptible nod - regal, magnanimous - modestly recognising the scale of his achievement, but without wishing to gloat.”

“That guy is my morning hero, and I wrote this thread in homage to him.”

The barrister, a former Fellow of Harvard University’s Berkman Center for Internet and Society, was met with praise for the Twitter tread.

Commenters told how the posts made them “cry with laughter”, with one adding: “You win the award for the Tube's Flash Non-Fiction. Brilliant.”

Another wrote: “This has to be the tweet thread of the year so far. I nearly had a panic attack as it moved to its climax.”

And another said: “I’ve shared this tweet around the office to multiple rounds of raucous laughter this morning/afternoon. Cheers for that!”

You can read the thread in full here.

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