Schoolchildren ‘burned out’ from comparing lives on social media

Instagram and Facebook are causing children to feel "worthless and distracted," says former teacher 
Using social media from a young age can be detrimental to children's levels of self-belief
PhotoAlto/REX/Shutterstock

Schoolchildren are suffering from “comparison burn-out” and are exhausted by judging their lives against other people’s.

Sara Milne Rowe, who taught in secondary schools in London and is now a performance coach, said sites including Instagram and Facebook leave children feeling worthless and distracted.

She now trains teachers to give children the skills to withstand comparison pressure and have confidence in their own life decisions.

She said: “Children now have instant access to other people’s lives. They can be looking at hundreds of people on Instagram, when previously children would have only had their class at school to compare with.

“People are exhausted by it and end up looking at these sites compulsively. This constant distraction is impacting our productivity and self-belief.”

People who decide to cut down on social media need strength to follow their decision through, she added.

By concentrating on personal routines such as sleep, hydration, exercise and diet (SHED) they are more likely to succeed. Her book, The SHED Method, outlines her theory, which she researched while working at Holland Park school as a drama teacher.

Ms Milne Rowe said: “Our children deserve to leave school with a level of self-belief that sets them up for success in a world of constant distractions, increasing pressures and constant access to the lives of others. We cannot outperform, whatever we think of ourselves. And when we’re caught up in the comparison trap — being consumed by what others are doing, who others are, what others think — what we think of ourselves is put under pressure.”

She said children must be taught to recall moments they are proud of, to celebrate themselves, at their best.

Ms Milne Row added: “In my experience, if you’re not in the habit of deliberately recalling your past successes, it’s much harder to do so in a moment of ‘comparison pressure’.

“Building such a habit takes effort in a world of constant comparisons and we need to help school children drill daily practices into habits, so they can interrupt any unhelpful self-talk and learn to replace it with one that is more useful, so they can remain strong.”

Her latest example came from a woman in the audience at a speech she gave last week. The woman’s son, in the first year of university, had been feeling “bad and sad” when he saw Instagram pictures of his friends on gap years.

Ms Milne Row said: “Even habitual activities can become a struggle if we are tired, thirsty, out of condition or hungry. We have a limited amount of energy, so I tell young people to start with SHED, this keeps you strong enough to stick to your decisions.”

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