The Londoner: Treasury rats head for Foreign Office

Rats take over the Foreign Office / Anthony Scaramucci may open sex shop / Witney doesn't care for politics / Vivienne Westwood heads to the circus / 
(Getty Images/iStockphoto
Getty Images/iStockphoto
29 June 2018

As if there was not enough tension between the Foreign Office and the Treasury. The Londoner has learned that a rat infestation that has arrived at Boris Johnson’s department is said by exterminators to have spread across Whitehall from the department of Johnson’s arch Cabinet rival Philip Hammond.

The Treasury is just a few hundred feet away from the Foreign Office.

FCO Staff have been joking that there’s more to this rodent migration than just chance. Has Hammond found a new tactic in his skirmishes with Johnson? Relations between the Chancellor and Foreign Secretary are notoriously icy. Earlier this month Hammond responded to leaked comments from Johnson in which the Foreign Secretary called the Treasury the “heart of Remain”, and threatened to quit the Government if a hard Brexit was not delivered. Hammond hit back: “My experience has been that a collaborative approach is generally more productive... my advice to my colleagues is that the way to address the challenges... is to engage with our European partners.”

“There’s a joke theory doing the rounds internally that the Treasury sent the rats over on purpose,” says our source. “It’s only partly a joke.”

This morning we approached both the FCO and the Treasury for comment but neither responded. Sources, however, confirm an internal pest problem. The Government has long been aware of rodents in Whitehall: Larry the Cat was brought into Downing Street in 2011, and the Treasury and the Foreign Office have their own cats. Gladstone, the Treasury cat, arrived to much fanfare in 2016 but his success may have driven some rodents towards the Foreign Office.

Palmerston, the Foreign Office cat, is currently tackling “pretty bold” mice who run “under the desks and even on the tables”. But he is quite small. Will he be a match for the rats? “Maybe they’ll get us another cat,” says a source, “or better yet, a terrier.”

Blowing the whistle on Italian politics

Italy may have failed to qualify for the World Cup this year but Matteo Renzi, the former Prime Minister and the youngest in the country’s history, says that in Italy there is a clearly established hierarchy of talent. “When I was a boy, if you were a good footballer you became a player,” he tells former Lib-Dem leader Nick Clegg in his latest podcast. “If you weren’t a good player you became a referee. So I became a referee. But if you weren’t a good referee you became a politician. So I became Prime Minister.”

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Veteran Labour MP Frank Field was seen at St Thomas’ Hospital in Lambeth yesterday with his right arm in a sling. Could the Labour whips have been trying too hard to arm-twist the pro-Brexit MP to change his views? We wish him a speedy recovery.

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Anthony Scaramucci, Donald Trump’s former head of comms who lost his job after 11 days for spewing obscenities about his colleagues to a New Yorker journalist, is capitalising on his flair for filth. Asked by Gentleman’s Journal what he’s doing next, he said: “I’m gonna open up a sex shop. I’ve got some f***ing great innovations on sex stores.”

That big-top appeal keeps Westwood and co coming back for me

Circus friends: Tweedy the Clown and Jennifer Saunders (Photo by David M. Benett/Dave Benett/Getty Images)
Dave Benett/Getty Images

A night at the circus for designer and eco-warrior Dame Vivienne Westwood, who was at Chiswick House for the opening of Giffords Circus. It’s not her first time: she has previously said that watching the troupe is “a life-enhancing experience”. Actors Anna Friel and Camilla Rutherford also came along to the show, titled My Beautiful Circus. Jennifer Saunders, star of Absolutely Fabulous, was also there. She’s seen the circus show three times but admits she’s never been tempted to perform any tricks of her own. “I’ve never eaten fire and I haven’t even juggled,” she told us. “But I’m a fast driver.” In the event of an Ab Fab sequel, could she be tempted to add some gymnastics? “I think we’d be too drunk,” she laughed. “No, I think we’ve done it all.” The conversation then turned to politics, when we asked for her opinion on the legalisation of cannabis. “We’re at the circus, mate,” came the reply.

SW1A

Northern Ireland Secretary Karen Bradley left last night’s US Embassy party at 7.30pm, saying it was the second party she had been to where they were not showing the England v Belgium match — despite her office assuring her there would be a screen. “I’m going to an event in Paddington where it’s definitely on,” she said, hurrying towards the exit. “I’m meeting my kids there at half-time.”

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Also milling around the US ambassador’s garden in Regent’s Park were Tories David Davis, Greg Clark, Tobias Ellwood, Brandon Lewis, Thérèse Coffey, Natalie Evans and Kwasi Kwarteng. Labour were conspicuous in their absence.

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A tanned Chris Grayling, Transport Secretary, who was there too, said he’d spent much of the day driving around his constituency in his open-topped Saab. “You weren’t in the car darling,” his wife teased. “You were on a train platform. Remember?”

Also milling around the US ambassador’s garden in Regent’s Park were Tories David Davis, Greg Clark, Tobias Ellwood, Brandon Lewis, Thérèse Coffey, Natalie Evans and Kwasi Kwarteng. Labour were conspicuous in their absence.

A tanned Chris Grayling, Transport Secretary, who was there too, said he’d spent much of the day driving around his constituency in his open-topped Saab. “You weren’t in the car darling,” his wife teased. “You were on a train platform. Remember?”

Quote of the day

'We don't have a flag pole'

A staffer at the Department for Exiting the European Union, headed up by David Davis, right, explains why they didn't fly the England flag last night

Witney misses joke

The David Cameron Effect is being missed in his old constituency, Witney. Comedy education show for children, How Does This Politics Thing Work Then?, has been playing to big crowds at the Underbelly on the South Bank and on its UK tour. But tomorrow’s planned performance in Chipping Norton, home to influential figures such as Rebekah Brooks, Jeremy Clarkson and the Beckhams, has been cancelled after zero sales. The show’s creators, comedian Tiernan Douieb and ex-teacher Tatton Spiller, are scratching their heads over the lack of interest in an area so full of people who think they run the country.

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Star pals: Alice Dellal and Pam Hogg (Photo by David M. Benett/Dave Benett/Getty Images for Jersey Style Awards)
Dave Benett/Getty Images for Jer

Model Alice Dellal and inimitable designer Pam Hogg were at the Jersey Style Awards last night. Hogg picked up a Style Hall of Fame Award at the event, held at the island’s Royal Jersey Showground.

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