More shoes maketh a man

A word of advice to François Hollande from English shoemakers: one pair is not enough. The French President’s alleged affair was exposed when paparazzi recognised the politician — disguised by a crash helmet — from his shoes, the only pair he owns. Foster & Son, which sells handcrafted shoes from its Jermyn Street store, is happy to help.

“It goes without saying that every man should have more than one pair of shoes,” a spokesman told The Londoner. “If M. Hollande would let us know his size, we’d be delighted to send him a pair of Foster’s fine English shoes, which would improve his appearance dramatically. We’re not entirely sure, however, that we could turn him into a gentleman.” The Londoner awaits Hollande’s call.