Londoner's Diary: New Madonna book 'too gay' for publishers

In today's Diary: Matt Cain told his book is "too gay" to publish | Allison Pearson launches new book | David Gandy's looking dandy with M&S | The Groucho's Bernie Katz memorialised in art
Who are you calling old? Madonna (Getty Images)
4 October 2017

Matt Cain has had his latest novel rejected by publishers, for being “too gay”. Those who declined his submission gave a dual motive: the other problem, they said, is that it focused on Madonna, who is “a turn-off now that she’s an old woman”. Cue outrage, and a crowdsourcing solution.

Cain, a former arts correspondent for Channel 4, edits Attitude magazine and already has two novels under his belt published by Pan Macmillan. His third, semi-autobiographical novel The Madonna of Bolton, follows the influence the Queen of Pop had on him growing up, and he was excited to take it to publishers. “It was rejected by all of them,” Cain says. “They told me it wasn’t commercial enough because Madonna is a turn-off now that she’s an old woman. And they said the book was ‘too gay’ and no one would want to read a story with a central character who isn’t straight.”

Cain has turned to Unbound, the crowdfunding publishing house, to help. Two days of fundraising has already covered 48 per cent of the money required, and has gained the support of David Walliams, actor Ralf Little, former Made in Chelsea star Ollie Locke, and fellow novelist Juno Dawson.

Cain has not named the publishers who considered the book “too gay”, but he is equally surprised by their opposition to the Queen of Pop. “When Madonna began speaking in interviews about her gay friends and her gay brother, singing about gay culture in the song Vogue, and parading her troupe of gay dancers in the film In Bed With Madonna, I clung on to her even more tightly,” he says. “She became my goddess.”

The unprecedented success of the crowdfunder hints at a bestseller. The publishers in question may already have regrets.

You can pledge your support here

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The new Politico London newsletter, edited by Jack Blanchard, has proved its worth to Westminster subscribers yesterday. “Starred up: two upmarket restaurants in SW1 acquired Michelin stars yesterday in the new edition of the guide,” it notes. They are Aquavit on Carlton Street and Chinese dim sum joint A Wong on Wilton Street. “Each is about a 20-minute stroll from Parliament.”

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Pearson raises the roof in Belgravia

Famous pals: Allison Pearson, right, with Sarah Jessica Parker (Getty Images)

Novelist and journalist Allison Pearson launched her new novel, How Hard Can It Be?, last night. Caroline Michel, über-literary agent and chair of the Hay Festival, hosted the party in her Belgravia home.

The book, a sequel to Pearson’s hit debut I Don’t Know How She Does It, sees its heroine Kate struggling with the menopause and her teenage children. Pearson stood on a sofa for a speech in which she praised The New Yorker writer and her hubby Anthony Lane, or as she called him, her “in-house grammarian”. There was feminist rabble-rousing and women with cut-glass accents even breaking into a chorus of “Down with the Patriarchy.” Who knew the revolution would start in Belgravia?

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Quote of the Day

"Anything can happen."

Yet another name for the list: Andrea Leadsom, Leader of the House of Commons, refuses to rule out a future leadership bid.

Gandy is suited and booted for M&S launch

Gandy the dandy: model David (Getty Images)

OOH, suits you sir. Last night, model David Gandy was at the Rosewood in Holborn to toast his new role as tailoring ambassador for Marks & Spencer and launch its largest ever selection of suits. Gandy will surely be keeping hold of the whole range. Last week he told the Gentleman’s Journal’s podcast that he keeps everything, even the little white trunks from his Dolce & Gabbana campaign. “They don’t come out very often,” he says. “I keep things because I think, when I have children, and they come to me and say ‘I need a tuxedo’, I can rock out the full velvet Dolce.” Lucky kids.

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John Simpson was at Covent Garden’s Hospital Club last night for its annual h.Club 100 Awards, a celebration of the 100 most influential people working in the creative industries. But years on the front line of journalism and on our TV screens doesn’t mean everyone knows who he is.

“Many people think I’m the world’s greatest broadcaster,” he told guests, “because they think I’m Sir David Attenborough.” There are worse people to be compared with.

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Bernie in wonderland

Bye bye Bernie: Nina Mae Fowler's Art Below tribute 

Bernie Katz, the former Groucho gatekeeper who died last month, is still making his inimitable presence felt.

In time for Frieze, which starts tomorrow, Art Below is exhibiting pieces by 28 artists, using the billboard space at Regent’s Park Tube station as a pop-up gallery. This portrait of Katz has been produced by artist Nina Mae Fowler and will remain there for a month.

“I wanted to pay homage to my old pal Bernie, and thanks to Nina Fowler I think we have produced a beautiful image of the dear chap,” Art Below director Ben Moore says. “This drawing is a rare use of colour for me but black- and-white just would not do when it came to portraying Bernie.”

Fowler, whose works can be found on the walls of The Groucho, says: “He was an avid supporter of artists and combined this with endlessly raising money for charity. This drawing shows him in a moment of isolated ecstasy on the dance floor at my best friend’s wedding. I loved him very much.”

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Tweet of the Day

“AM I the only one who is now reflexively annoyed when I see someone tweet 280 characters? It just looks like they grabbed a pulpit and can’t shut up.”

Careless People author Sarah Churchwell thinks less is more when it comes to Twitter.

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Modification of the day: last night, Sky News political editor Faisal Islam sung Oasis’s Don’t Look Back In Anger at a conference karaoke session, with “So, Boris can wait” leading the chorus.

We think he knows it’s too late.

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Life's a drag for May double

Outside looking in: Theresa May's doppelganger (Image: Joanna Bell)

BLEARY eyes today after an evening of gay pride events at the Conservative Party conference in Manchester. Justine Greening spoke at the Stonewall party, after which The Londoner ended up throwing shapes with the Tories at G-A-Y. Outside was Theresa May’s doppelgänger — looking in, as usual.

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