Londoner's Diary: Aye-aye, cap’n: Hackney has too many beards...

Gunning for the hipsters: Lord West
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5 February 2016

Admiral Lord West has spent a lifetime worrying about defence. He was Chief of Naval Staff, First Sea Lord and advised Gordon Brown on matters of security. But now he’s concerned about a much more dangerous threat that is creeping across London: the hipster.

“I love Hackney,” Lord West tells the latest edition of Country & Townhouse magazine. “It’s really vibrant and my wife enjoys it but some of the bars are getting a little trendy for me now.

“The hipsters have arrived. In some of the pubs you can’t even get a proper packet of crisps.”

Lord West is not alone in observing this trend. Shoreditch has become synonymous with the caricatured image of the hipster to the extent that a book on the subject became a bestseller at Christmas. In the past few years, much of east London has fallen to the onslaught, with pockets now populated by facial hair and Fixie bikes, craft beer and street food.

But West is not just worried about the food: the pull of the area could have economic implications. “It’s all become very expensive,” he grieves. “I just want cockles, some chunks of cheddar cheese and a pint. The artists move in because it’s affordable, then it gains popularity, people move in and prices go up.

“Look at Shoreditch — there are probably too many beards there now. I think we’ve reached the point where we don’t need any more beards. It’s a little too much.”

Thus spake the old sea dog.

***

Love was in the air at Mayfair’s Millennium Hotel last night, as the Media Society honoured Clare Balding for services to broadcasting.

Legendary jockey AP McCoy recalled fancying her in their youth — “I don’t think I was her type,” he recalled — Michael Morpurgo chastised her for encroaching on his children’s book territory with her new story about horses, and Lord Coe was just happy to be there. “I’m happy to be anywhere,” he joked. “Free from witness protection. Although my electronic tag is chafing.”

Farewell to Whitehall for the DoH toilers

The Department of Health is packing its bags and leaving Whitehall. Following some rather brutal staff cuts the civil servants are leaving the Eighties cathedral-like Richmond House and moving down the road to 39 Victoria Street.

Leader of the House Chris Grayling and his Labour counterpart Chris Bryant are talking to their teams about the refurbishment of the Houses of Parliament and where they will go. The most likely solution will be a temporary chamber for the Commons in the courtyard. Other options include the Treasury and the Foreign Office.

There’s only one snag: the ownership of Richmond House recently switching into an Islamic bond scheme which means, according to some reports, that alcohol can’t be served. Wave goodbye to the parliamentary bars!

Those Fortes have got spas in their eyes

If Irene Forte looked like she owned the place at her event yesterday, it is because her family does. After all, when promoting a new line of bio-cosmetics created for Rocco Forte Spas, organising the launch in a Rocco Forte hotel made sense.

At Brown’s Hotel in Mayfair, Irene and Princess Eugenie of York toasted the family’s new brand. She also welcomed guests including Prince Harry’s former girlfriend Chelsy Davy.

Made with Organic Olive Oil and water from Sicily’s Madonie Regional Natural Park — Sir Rocco’s Verdura Golf Resort and Spa is on the island’s south coast — the products should soon be on the skins of all eco-conscious socialites.

Jamie’s sugar tax sweetens EU pill

Tristan Fewings / Getty

When Britain won’t do it, go to the EU. That is what Jamie Oliver has in mind following David Cameron’s reluctance to impose a sugar tax, the Naked Chef’s pet project. Oliver, pictured, told the audience at the Royal Geographical Society’s 5x15 Food Fight last night that he was determined “to make the Government put labelling on packaging [to make the sugar content clearer].

“This really upsets me because everyone agrees it’s the right thing to do. Now I have to go to Europe to make it happen — Cameron won’t.” What is probably most galling for Oliver is that he will have to enter the belly of the beast to get what he wants. In a presentation in 2008, he said: “I have nothing nice to say about the EU at all, I really haven’t.

“We’d be better off out of it. Don’t get me off on one or I will go on a tangent.” Oliver last night also said that sugar, and the related health problems, should mean a lot to Cameron.

After all, the PM’s father, Ian Cameron, “had his legs amputated due to Type 2 diabetes — David Cameron told me that”. Oliver’s office hasn’t got back to us this morning about his attempt to woo the EU over his sugar tax plans.

Surely he couldn’t be about to find the EU sweeter to him than homegrown politicians?

***

On the eve of Lent, when better to ruminate over food and faith? The Londoner will be doing just that at the Names Not Numbers talk at St James’s Church, Piccadilly on Tuesday evening. Guests include food critic A A Gill and Honey & Co restaurant owners Itamar Srulovich and Sarit Packer, chaired by our editor Sarah Sands.

The first 20 Londoner’s Diary readers who email will@editorialintelligence.com with the heading NNN16Standard in the subject line, will receive a free place to the event.

Philopiles all-a-twitter

Phoebe Philo the Paris-born Central Saint Martins graduate who has been creative director at Céline since 2008, is seen by many in the fashion brigade as something of a modern-day Coco Chanel.

So her acolytes may despair at rumours that Philo may step aside after the autumn-winter collection is marketed. Céline’s office have yet to comment to either The Londoner or the US publications, who have asked for a statement.

If the reports, from The Fashion Law and Dazed, are correct she will surely be missed: she was a star when working with Stella McCartney at Chloé before moving on and making Céline one of the world’s most desirable brands.

There is talk of openings at luxury firm Richemont, which owns Amal Clooney favourite Azzedine Alaïa. Who wouldn’t want to be there now?

***

Accidental endorsement of the day: Eurosceptic MPs are wearing Grassroots Out ties in the Commons. The slogan, GO!, makes it look like a George Osborne fan club.

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