Former Home Secretary Alan Johnson spoke of his days as a postman in Buckinghamshire at yesterday’s Oldie Literary Lunch at Simpson’s. “I was delivering letters at a grand house in Hedgerley when a lady in pearls shouted a warning about her dog, the traditional postman’s hazard,” he recalled. ‘Kick his balls,’ she said. ‘No, not his OWN balls — the plastic ones on the lawn.’”
He told how Winston Churchill and John Foster Dulles, US Secretary of State, once dined at Simpson’s when Churchill undid the top buttons of his trousers. “Hey, what are you going to call the baby?” said Dulles referring to his girth.
“If it’s a boy, I’ll call it George, after our late king,” said Churchill. “If it’s a girl, I’ll call it Elizabeth, after our beloved Queen. If it’s just wind, I’ll call it John Foster Dulles.”
Johnson also suggested Farage was a good word for “confidence in ignorance”. Perhaps Johnson should have been prime minister instead of Gordon Brown.
