Oscar Pistorius trial: I wake and smell blood, sobbing athlete tells court in Pretoria

Runner apologises to Reeva’s family and says: I was trying to protect her
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Oscar Pistorius made a tearful apology to his dead girlfriend’s family today as he began giving evidence at his trial in South Africa.

He also told a court in Pretoria: "I have terrible nightmares about things that happened that night. I wake up and I can smell blood and wake up being terrified."

His voice cracked with emotion when he told Reeva Steenkamp's relatives he was "simply trying to protect" her when he opened fire on Valentine's Day last year.

The 27-year-old Olympic and Paralympic athlete is accused of murdering the model whom he shot through a locked bathroom door. He claims he thought she was an intruder.

He said: "I would like to take this opportunity to apologise to Mr and Mrs Steenkamp, to Reeva's family. To those of you who knew her who are in court today.

"There hasn't been a moment since this tragedy happened that I have not thought about your family. I wake up every morning, you are the first people I think of, the first people I pray for. I can't imagine the pain, sorrow and emptiness I've caused you.

"I've tried to put my words on paper many times to write to you but no words would ever suffice." He added: "I was simply trying to protect Reeva. I can promise you when she went to bed that night she felt loved."

He said he had lost a lot of weight and was on anti-depressants and taking sleeping pills as he was suffering "terrible nightmares". He said he did not sleep for weeks following the shooting, and on one occasion hid in a cupboard and had to call his sister to come and comfort him.

He said: "I have terrible nightmares about things that happened that night. I wake up and I can smell blood and wake up being terrified."

Pistorius retched and sobbed loudly when the trial reconvened today as his lawyers began his defence by calling their own pathologist to describe the injuries to Reeva.

Professor Jan Botha was giving evidence at the high court in Pretoria following four weeks of prosecution-led testimony and a week's adjournment after one of the judge's aides fell ill. Professor Botha said that she would have been "frozen with fear" as the gunshots rang out.

The double-amputee is charged with premeditated murder and faces 25 years in prison if convicted. He denies the charge.

Pistorius said he never wanted to be around firearms again and so now has a guard who is stationed permanently outside his front door.

He told the court he was occasionally bullied for his disability at school, but his mother — who died when he was 15 — made him feel he should stick up for himself.

He said she had "security concerns" and would sleep with a gun under her pillow, telling the court: "We grew up in a family where my father wasn't around much so my mother had a pistol.

"She would often get scared at night so she would call the police. We didn't stay in the best of suburbs. On a couple of occasions people did break into our home."

He said he was "never much of an academic" but loved sport, and began playing rugby and water polo before moving into athletics. He then joined the South African team, later taking part in able bodied 400 metre races on his prosthetic legs. But his track success, earnings and busy schedule had an impact on his friendships.

He said: "It changes a lot of the dynamics in a person's life." He said his prostheses are an "extension of his body" and he does not like to be seen without them, even wearing them on long-haul flights.

Earlier, Ms Steenkamp's family said they wanted to hear the athlete explain why he killed her.

Mike Steenkamp, Reeva's uncle, said the 29-year-old's mother June, along with his daughter Kim, were both keen to hear Pistorius' explanation of what happened.

He told the Daily Telegraph: "That's the reason they would like to be there. As much as you would expect if it was your son or daughter, with this type of case it's been very difficult for (June). We just want it to be over. I think this final month will be some form of closure."

He said the family felt for others in the same situation.

The trial continues.

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