Kidds vs Goldsmiths: how do the aristo-clans match up in breeding, beauty and billions?

Breeding, brains, beauty and billions, with a dash of marital intrigue — Nick Curtis assesses the relative values of our favourite aristo-clans
Hot gossip: The Kidds, from far left, Jodie, Gemma and Jack. The Goldsmiths, from centre, Jemima, Zac and Ben (Picture: Rex)
Rex

Desist, Delevingnes. Bite it, Bransons. And don’t call us, Anstruther-Gough-Calthorpes, we’ll call you. All of these tribes have staked out a place in the society and gossip pages through a combination of some or all of the following factors: dazzling beauty; obscene wealth; glamorous day-jobs; socially advantageous romantic attachments; louche behaviour. But in terms of class, cash and dizzyingly complex romantic lives, two families are streets ahead of the competition.

The undefeated champions of this social whirl are the Goldsmiths — specifically Jemima, Zac and Ben, the three children of Sir James Goldsmith and his third wife Lady Annabel Vane-Tempest-Stewart, although in their wake straggles a shoal of more or less glamorous step- and half-siblings. But ladies and gentlemen, let’s hear it for the contenders — the Kidds!

Jodie, Jemma and Jack, the alliterative glamourpuss offspring of John and Wendy Kidd — they also have a few semi-siblings hanging about — recently made a bid for the title of London’s Most Complicated Clan of Rich Pretty People.

Thrice-engaged polo player and hotelier Jack has married for the second time to Rosie Tyser, who he has known for 21 years (Callie Moore, with whom he had a child after divorcing first wife Be Kemeny, broke off their engagement). Meanwhile, Jodie’s second marriage —and her third major relationship: she had a son, Indio, with boyfriend Andrea Vianini between marriages; do keep up — to former soldier David Blakely has ended after just four months.

The two families are not dissimilar — aristocratic by descent, association or marriage, they mostly made their money in business. Where the three Goldsmiths dwell in the worlds of finance, political activism and journalism, Kidds do hotels, horses, fashion and showbiz.

Each set of siblings has five marriages between them, though the Goldsmiths have five divorces to the Kidds’ four. Although the Goldsmith boys are tall, the Kidds have the edge on them in height, with 6ft 1in Jodie towering over 5ft 7in Jemima. Are the Kidds katching up? Are the Goldsmiths goners, gossip-wise? We examine how the rival tribes stack up.

JODIE KIDD

Stylish girl: Jodie Kidd (Picture: Stuart C. Wilson/Getty)

Age:

36

Appearance: Impeccably groomed and slightly peckish saluki.

Employment: Model-presenter-polo player-rally driver.

Significant others: Paternal great-grandfather was the first Lord Beaverbrook; maternal grandfather was baronet Sir John Hodge; first marriage to internet entrepreneur Aidan Butler ended after 18 months; broke up with polo -player boyfriend Andrea Vianini in 2013, two years after their son Indio was born; marriage to former soldier David Blakely ended after four months in February; one child.

Famous for: Denying she had an eating disorder during the panic over skinny models and “heroin chic”; getting caught up in a newspaper drugs sting; being a jolly, sporty girl who did the fastest ever lap as Top Gear’s Star in a Reasonably Priced Car; doing Who Do You Think You Are?; riding horses.

Gossip rating: 8

JEMMA KIDD

Age: 40

Appearance: Holly Willoughby/Patsy Kensit mash-up.

Employment: Ex-model, largely resting make-up artist — now too busy as a marchioness.

Blonde bombshell: Jemma Kidd (Picture: Dave Benett)

Significant others:

Husband is Arthur Wellesley, Marquess of Douro, and elder son and heir of the Duke of Wellington (through his mother, Princess Antonia of Prussia, he is also related to Queen Victoria, which kind of trumps the Kidd/Beaverbrook heritage); three children.

Famous for: Eyeliner, lipgloss, mascara, a smidgen of foundation (her make-up business went into administration in 2012); riding horses (all the Kidds are horsey — father Johnny and sister Jodie were showjumpers, brother Jack plays polo, but Jemma favoured dressage).

Gossip rating: 5

JACK KIDD

Age: 42

Appearance: Bloody good bloke.

Employment: Polo player; “cad and bounder” (according to his first wife - he’s more popular with the new one); hotelier (he runs the family estate, Holders, in Barbados).

Significant others: Four children with first wife Be Kemeny, a Pepsi-Cola heiress 10 years his senior, who divorced him after publically accusing him of infidelity (a family trait; his parents’ marriage ended after 33 years when his mother twigged to his father’s affair with a much younger Canadian stuntwoman after reportedly discovering Viagra in his spongebag); a fifth child with model Callie Moore who broke off their engagement after five years together, because she did not want to move to Barbados; third marriage to Rosie Tyser seems to be going OK but it’s only been a week.

Famous for: The email that wife Be reportedly sent to 200 of their friends saying he had admitted to several dalliances; riding polo ponies.

Gossip rating: 4

JEMIMA GOLDSMITH

Connections: Jemima Khan Goldsmith (Picture: Dave Benett)

Age:

41

Appearance: Ariana Huffington played by Eva Mendes.

Employment: Journalist-heiress-campaigner.

Significant others: Mother Annabel was a famous aristocratic beauty of her day; father James a buccaneering businessman and philanderer; a full itemisation of her family’s connections, marriages, affairs and offspring would take days. Married Pakistani cricket captain turned politician Imran Khan in 1995 and divorced him in 2004 (chuck a Khan?); dated Hugh Grant and Russell Brand; was best friends with Princess Diana; two sons with Khan.

Famous for: Being generous, spirited, intelligent, well dressed, funny; being in Annabel’s, the club named after her mother; being married at 21; being compassionate; being divorced; supporting niche political causes; being appointed associate editor of The New Statesman.

Gossip rating: 10

ZAC GOLDSMITH

Age: 40

Appearance: Tristram Hunt played by Hugh Grant.

Employment: Journalist-eco-campaigner-Tory MP.

Silver fox: Zac Goldsmith (Picture: Jeremy Selwyn)

Significant others:

Long line of viscounts on his mother’s side and of environmental activism on his paternal uncle’s; married for 10 years to fashionista-organic guru-jeweller Sheherazade Ventura-Bentley, with whom he has two daughters and a son, divorced in 2010; subsequently married Alice Rothschild, an offshoot of both the Rothschild and Guinness lines, whose sister Kate was until 2012 married to Zac’s brother Ben (whoa!); they have one child together (Zac and Alice, that is, not Zac and Ben.)

Famous for: Playing poker; claiming there is no contradiction in being an ecologist and a Tory; not toeing the party line.

Gossip rating: 9

BEN GOLDSMITH

Age: 34

Appearance: More loveable, shaggy, Muppet version of his brother.

Employment: Pioneer in environmental investment.

Significant others: Ben-Ben (as he is known) is mostly associated with the world’s first “Twitter divorce”, after the breakdown of his 10-year marriage to heiress and music producer Kate Rothschild — prompted by her affair with rapper Jay Electronica — played out acrimoniously on social media in 2012; three children with Rothschild; last December married caterer to the fashion pack and former lingerie model Jemima Jones.

Gossip rating: 7

So despite a strong showing, the final scores are 26 to 17. Sorry, Kidds, you just didn’t kut it against the solid Goldsmiths. But keep trying, eh?

@nickcurtis

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