Fifty shades of... amusing parodies of EL James's erotic bestseller

 
50 Shades of Grey
4 July 2012

If ever there were a novel ripe for parody, it must be EL James’s best-selling knicker-tickler, Fifty Shades of Grey. As James talks at Savoy Place this evening, here are some of the most amusing spoofs and spin-offs of her work — because while whip-wielder Christian Grey may not be able to laugh at himself, it seems we certainly can.

Fifty Shames of Earl Grey

Serial sex novel satirist Andrew Shaffer wrote Fifty Shames in just 10 days but earned much more than he had from two previous books that took years to produce. The dark secrets of Shaffer’s hero Earl Grey include a proclivity for shopping at Walmart on Saturdays and a predilection for BDSM (Bards, Dragons, Sorcery and Magick).

Fifty Sheds of Grey

A spoof Twitter account —@50ShedsofGrey — that not only offers pictures of these unerotic erections, but also exposes the carnal embrace (or the lack thereof) in the cabin. Choice Tweet: “I lay back exhausted, gazing happily out of the shed window. Despite my concerns about my inexperience, my rhubarb had come up a treat...”

FiFTY Shades of Louisa May

Since Little Women author Alcott probably died a virgin, her erotic diaries may have looked a little sparse. Still, that hasn’t stopped an anonymous writer in the literotica (lewditure?) field penning this “memoir of transcendental sex”.

Fifty Shades of Gay

Perhaps the most obvious pun — at least four ebooks have been published under this (or a similar) title. Riley de Lis’s Shades of Gay lays bare (see what I did there?) the often sado-masochistic relationships between journalist and editor.

Fifty Shades of Grey and Zombies

Because every novel is improved by an invasion of the undead (see also: Pride and Prejudice and Zombies).

Filthy Shames of Lame

“Once you get tied up in it, you won’t ever want to leave,” claims the Amazon billing. Written by Ricky Sprague, our heroine is Artlesstasia Chille while our hero is Chastening Lame, a man so attractive that he makes Artlesstasia’s “perineum sweat”.

Fifty Shades of Blue

Tween queen Selena Gomez, below left, teamed up with video website Funny or Die to send up Fifty Shades. Gomez plays a lip-biter infatuated by a painter: “Why was he putting sheets on the floor and why did he give me the gift of paint swatches?”

Fifty Shades of Grav

Probably the best title of the lot, this is the story of Vanessa Biscuits who falls for chef Gray. “Unable to resist her pedestrian beauty, half-wittedness, bland spirit and slavish, dog-like devotion,” runs the bumpf, “Gray admits he wants her on his own terms — covered in gravy.”

Fifty Shades of Theresa May

The tale of a leopardprint-heel-loving Home Sexy-tary, far right, who enjoys swapping ministerial briefs with the Chief Whip. Okay, so this one hasn’t been written yet but it can only be a matter of time...

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