Laura Craik on Gucci’s new muse, ugly shoes, and why Brangelina really broke up

Our columnist takes on the latest trends
Laura Craik29 September 2016

You can never take too much care over the choice of your shoes,’ quoth Christian Dior. ‘Too many women think they are unimportant, but the real proof of an elegant woman is what is on her feet.’ I wonder what he would have made of the Christopher Kane show. Kane shod his models’ feet in Crocs, those rubber clog aberrations so beloved of nurses, Prince George and the terminally tasteless. To paraphrase Karl Lagerfeld, Crocs are a sign of defeat — unless you are a three-year-old, in which case they’re forgiven. Just. And even then, only if they’re navy.

That’s the snitty point of view, at least. I loved that Kane showed Crocs, and that they came in strange, non primary-coloured shades of marbled bronze and anthracite studded with quartz stones. The internet was less convinced. ‘You can’t polish a turd,’ it said. ‘Crocs are ugly and they always will be.’

When Kane shows Crocs, Preen collaborates with Ugg and Anna Sui puts her models in FitFlops and flatforms, you have to ask what’s going on. Three’s a trend, and all that. Already we’ve had Fashion Birkenstocks, Fashion Dr Martens and Fashion Wellies, not to mention Fashion Clogs, Fashion Tevas and Fashion Trainers. If you were being pretentious, you’d say designers’ obsession with populist, utilitarian footwear is symbolic of the changing nature of fashion itself. No longer are catwalk shows for the elite: they’re live-streamed, available to everyone and critiqued on social media — whether designers like it or not. What’s most likely to provide those all-important talking points: a mutton-sleeved dress festooned with jewels and lemurs or a pimped-up Croc?

High fashion can be hard to decipher and digest. Maybe next season’s rash of Uggs, FitFlops and Crocs are fashion’s way of being relatable (at least until we see the price tags). Or maybe they’re just an admission that, whatever trend is in the ascendant, you just can’t beat a pair of comfy shoes.

Feeling the love…

‘When Tom Ford left Gucci, it all went pear-shaped, a bit like myself. Thanks to Michele injecting energy, colour and passion into the house, now you have to fight your way into Gucci,’ said Elton John, presenting Alessandro Michele with his design gong at the recent GQ Awards (right). It seems that the feeling is mutual. Nul points to those who thought Deirdre Barlow was Michele’s key inspiration: turns out it was the Rocket Man all along. ‘He’s like a firework,’ Michele enthused backstage after last week’s Gucci show in Milan. ‘He’s the god of music, but also very sophisticated.’ Righto. Shame the dimly lit, smoky presentation meant people couldn’t see this shining tribute to Elton too well on social media.

Chain reaction

It wasn’t the challenges of raising six kids in eight different houses while holding down a day job as an actor, filmmaker and humanitarian that sounded the death knell for Brangelina’s marriage. It was the curse of the portmanteau. It did for Bennifer. It did for TomKat. It did for Billary. The reason Mr and Mrs Beckham are still together after 17 years of marriage? You might think it’s because they love, respect and adore each other, but the answer is more prosaic: it’s because nobody ever managed to successfully combine their names. No couple could go by the name Dictoria, and Vavid just didn’t have the right ring to it. Mark me, t’is why they’re still wearing theirs. Be careful, Kimye. Be careful.

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