Tom Odell: 'Giving the impression of a perfect life can be debilitating'

The singer features in the first episode of The HUMEN Series, a five-part documentary tackling male mental health
Laura Hampson @_LauraHampson24 September 2019

“I’m able to get through most things but also I maybe haven’t experienced total tragedy in my life yet and I’m sure one day I will,” says British singer Tom Odell.

He appears in The HUMEN Series, a five-part documentary airing every Tuesday on the Evening Standard for the next five weeks.

The videos are produced by HUMEN, a new organisation founded by actor River Hawkins which supports men's mental health.

This week, in the episode above, HUMEN is looking at change and how it can impact the male psyche.

Odell continues: “Strangely I’m often not the most open person and people presume that I am. I feel it’s completely acceptable for me to say the most intimate of things in a song, which I would never say to someone to their face. I don’t know if that’s because I’m a bloke or because I’m English. It’s probably a bit of both.

“I’ve been aware of, all the time learning and realising, how delicate and vulnerable we all are. Everyone wants to give this impression of a perfect life and it puts great pressure on people to have money and friends and eclectic cultural tastes. I think that can be debilitating, certainly. Occasionally you do meet people and think you really do have it worked out, don’t you? Like you meet a dogwalker in the park who seems to be just very content with his life but it’s very difficult to achieve that I think.”

Hawkins wanted The HUMEN Series to include stories about men from all walks of life.

He explains: “I wanted to show that no matter where you come from, what you do or your fame level, this is something we’re all going through and I wanted to show that through the combination of men. It’s about connecting with their stories and how they relate to other people.”

Singer Tom Odell appears in the first episode of The HUMEN Series
HUMEN

One of these men, Nick, who lost his mum to suicide says: “I never used to like this phrase but I do now: ‘you’re never given more than you can handle in life'. And I think having experienced the worst thing possible, losing a parent, particularly like that, you’re like well if I’ve dealt with that then nothing else I can do is bad.”

Actor Cyril Nri, who also lost a friend to suicide, says: “I remember feeling particularly guilty about my friend Craig, who was up and down and had various difficulties. I was feeling a bit ill and had a lot of stuff to do one Monday and so I cancelled. I said ‘I can’t make it’. And I forgot about it and a couple of weeks later I tried phoning him and there was no answer and I emailed him and then his mother got back to me and said ‘oh, I see you’ve called a few times and I just wanted to let you know that he killed himself’. So you look at those situations and you think if he had had more of an outlet, then would he be alive?”

With HUMEN, Hawkins hopes to create an outlet like this. HUMEN Spaces will provide a safe space where men can meet regularly in a non-clinical environment to discuss whatever is on their minds. The first space is now open in London and runs every Wednesday from 6:30pm to 7:30pm in Neal’s Yard. The next will open in Manchester from October 2.

Tom Odell (L) and River Hawkins (centre) on the set of The HUMEN Series
HUMEN

Hawkins continues: “I wanted to provide men with a preventative solution to declining mental health. Providing them with a space to talk on a regular basis before it gets to crisis point.

“A lot of the focus I’ve found is always on encouraging men to talk but not offering that next step. At HUMEN it’s about action not just awareness.”

HUMEN is a new organisation for men’s mental health and The HUMEN Space runs every Wednesday at 6.30pm at 14 Neal’s Yard, WC2. For more information, to attend sessions or make a donation, visit wearehumen.org

Watch part one of The HUMEN Series above. The HUMEN Series is a five-part documentary on men’s mental health featuring the likes of Bill Nighy, Andrew Scott and David Gandy, exclusively at standard.co.uk/HUMEN every Tuesday.

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