Orlando Bloom’s nude pictures lead the trend for paddle-boarding in London

Because skinny-dipping is so passé...
A paddle-boarder
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Frankie McCoy5 August 2016

Skinny-dipping is so passé. This month it’s all about bare-all paddle-boarding. That’s the naked truth, according to Orlando Bloom, who sent Twitter into meltdown on Wednesday when he was photographed starkers on a paddleboard in Italy with his somewhat more clothed girlfriend Katy Perry. But rather than ogling Bloom’s oar we should be studying his technique. Because the paddleboard has achieved cult status — this summer you’re going nowhere unless you get there standing on a surfboard using a paddle to propel yourself through the water.

The sport was developed by surfers in Hawaii but it’s been making waves in the celebrity world for a while, thanks to Jennifer Aniston and Cindy Crawford. The pair spent most of 2010 paddling around LA in the guise of discreet exercise, prompting hundreds of articles about the miraculous fitness benefits: believe it or not, rowing through the water is really good for your arms.

Since then, any model worth their Victoria’s Secret wings has posted Instagram pictures of themselves dipping their blade into the ocean in a string bikini. We Brits looked on — then tucked into another Mars bar.

But what started as a smug celeb hashtag is now trickling down to the British holidaymaker. You don’t have to be a sun-kissed movie star to stick your oar in. In fact, it turns out that London’s slow-moving canals and lakes are much better for a bit of gentle boarding than the Pacific. Who needs the dazzling beaches of LA or the Med when you’ve got Paddington Basin anyway? The swampy bit of canal around the train station has just welcomed water-sport specialist Active360’s SUPcity, which hosts not only paddleboarding classes but also paddleboarding races, in which you and your fellow boarders thrust your way up to Little Venice through the canal boats and beer cans and discarded trolleys.

Close your eyes and it’s almost like you’re in the Med. Wait, quick, open them before you — oops.

Actually, standing up on your paddleboard is a bit old hat, too. Look closely at the footage of Bloom — yep, that’s a pretty big shadow he’s casting — and you’ll see he’s actually kneeling for stability. What an amateur.

Perry is far more impressive in her lotus position and fixed grimace (although perhaps we should be glad Bloom’s not doing a downward dog). It turns out that yoga mats on dry land are also totally last year — all the cool yogis are now sun-saluting on paddleboards.

Festival fitness

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If you fancy mimicking Perry, get to Wilderness in Oxfordshire this weekend, where food-lovers seeking respite from the next round of Michelin-starred grub can have a bash at paddleboard yoga on a lake. Because paddleboard yoga is a great workout, apparently. The instability of being in the middle of a massive body of water means your core muscles work even harder when doing a cobra. Plus there’s the exercise involved in hauling yourself back onto your board after belly-flopping in for the seventh time. SUPworld magazine (the international Standing Up Paddling magazine, obvs) says you can burn 540 calories an hour.

At this rate, it’s only a matter of time before we see David Cameron up on a paddleboard while he’s on his hols in Corsica. But please,Sam, make him keep his shorts on.

Follow Frankie McCoy on Twitter: @franklymccoy

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