Do Lib-Dems have a higher libido than the rest of us or is it just politics?

Sexual healing: Lembit Opik (left) relaxes with girlfriend, ex-Wonderbra model Katie Green.
Lembit Opik10 April 2012

Within a month of the new Government coming to power, two Liberal Democrat Cabinet ministers have found themselves in the public eye for matters relating to their personal, rather than political, lives.

First, former Chief Secretary to the Treasury David Laws volunteered to walk the parliamentary plank for crimes against IPSA, the organisation regulating MP expenses. Then eco-supremo Chris Huhne became the object of journalists' attentions for an extramarital affair.

So, what's going on? Are Lib-Dems particularly prone to dangerous liaisons? Does the party attract politicians with the highest libido? Or is some other factor at play here, which has led to a brace of stories in a relatively short time?

I'd like to claim that joining the Lib-Dems will do a lot more for your sex life than Viagra. But the reality is a combination of political naivety, journalistic prurience and a small helping of coincidence.

Take the "David Laws Case". David has never discussed his personal life publicly in all the 10 years I've known him. He was "done" for his expenses — for money paid to someone he was having a sexual relationship with, namely his landlord. But it's pretty obvious what happened.

When he set up the arrangement, he wasn't in a relationship with the person. Even if he had been, the rules at that time said it was OK. Then the rules changed and I guess David felt trapped by circumstance, hoping it would all sort of "stay the same". It was a very personal — and human — blind spot, and since he's a millionaire already, he certainly wasn't motivated by the money itself. Yet David can't be accused of a wild life — except by homophobes.

Then there's Paddy Ashdown and Chris Huhne — both "revealed" as having had a relationship outside marriage. A Lib-Dem trait? Not really. What about former top Tory John Major and his "cuddles with [Edwina] Currie"? Or Conservative Alan Clark and all his high jinks? Numerically, the Tories knock spots off Liberal Democrats for such stories.
And if anyone wishes to wager that it's not still going on in Tory or Labour ranks, name your price for that bet.

And what about Mark Oaten and his "antics" with a rent boy? Does this prove the Lib-Dems are "different"? Only to those wilfully forgetting the tragic fate of the late Stephen Milligan MP, a Conservative who died in exotic personal circumstances, or the late Welsh Nationalist Assembly Member, Phil Williams, who recently passed away in a Cardiff massage parlour.

True, perhaps some Lib-Dems are naive in thinking they've got immunity from the depressingly sex-obsessed attentions of the British press. And maybe it's a bit of a statistical fluke that the first two saucy tales of this administration both come from the same party. But one thing's for sure — if anyone thinks these sorts of stories are particular to one party, dream on...

In the real world, our species is both quirky and exotic in terms of its sexual drives. That's reflected among politicians who — lo and behold — also happen to be members of the human race. It's hardly a source of surprise, except to those deluded into thinking we'd be better governed by people willing to take a vow of celibacy.

It follows that diverse sexual activity is not a trait unique to the Lib-Dems. Frankly, if it was, this would be a good reason to favour the Lib-Dems above other parties pretending to be oddly apart from the splendidly colourful — and sometimes self-destructive — cross-sections of the public they represent.

If you're going to make MPs' sex lives instead of their parliamentary performance your business, maybe you need to get out more. And if you really think all this is unique to the Lib-Dems, then either join the party (but be ready for a disappointment) or get real about all British parties and leave the country.

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