Ben Machell: Why drinking a very cold beer in a very hot bath is my idea of luxury living
I like luxury.
Some people — some men, mostly — like to pretend that they don’t, which is a shame. In their minds they are hardy Bronze Age warriors who regard lovely things like bubble baths and 20-quid Prosecco with contempt. But it doesn’t have to be like this. Honestly. I spend half my waking life fantasising about being a hardy Bronze Age warrior and the other half fantasising about nice things I can’t afford and probably don’t deserve. It doesn’t make you any less of a man.
Of course, ‘luxury’ means different things to different people. A lot depends on circumstance. Right now, as the father of two small children, the release of new episodes of Peter Rabbit or Octonauts on iPlayer feels like a treat. New episodes! My friends and I gleefully text each other, spreading the news like a bunch of oligarchs’ wives who’ve just caught wind of a designer sample sale.
On a cold November morning, pulling on a pair of boxers that have spent the night on a hot radiator feels decadent to the point of being shameful. Do I deserve this? I wonder as I feel my undercarriage tenderly enveloped by luxuriant warmth. Am I worth it? It’s not like I’m a Hollywood A-lister or anything. I’m just a normal guy. But I suppose that sometimes you have to allow yourself these moments.
Lately, if time and budget allow, I’ve taken to drinking very cold beer in a very hot bath. It’s quite a mystical experience, really. By the third glass you start to go a bit out-of-body, and the whole thing leaves you with a real glow. I might suggest it to some high-end spas. If I had a little bit more cash I’d definitely pay for regular massages. Ever had a massage? I had one once and it was amazing — my entire body went slack and I thought I was about to die. But in a really good way. I’d also eat a whole lot of sushi. Not while having a massage although, thinking about it, that would work for me too.
This winter I’ve decided I’m going to treat myself on a regular basis: scented candles, new socks, that tuna that comes in jars rather than tins. Big mugs. Warm boxers every single morning. Why not? You only live once, don’t you?
