What Emma, outspoken ‘Voice of the Underground’, really thinks of Tube travellers
Anyone who has been on the London Underground recently will recognise her voice.
For eight years its calm, measured tone has politely urged millions of passengers every day to 'mind the gap' and thanked them for travelling on the Tube.
But the woman behind the voice is no fan of the capital's transport system, which she avoids using at all costs. And she has just revealed what she really thinks about it by recording a series of scathing, but hilarious, spoof announcements and posting them on her website.
In them, Emma Clarke lets rip at American tourists, Sudoku solvers and commuters who stare at female passengers' breasts.
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Emma Clarke lets rip at American tourists and Sudoku solvers in her spoof train announcements
All of the rants feature her trademark soothing tones heard by nearly a billion passengers a year.
She says in one of the parodies: 'We'd like to remind our American tourist friends that you are almost certainly talking too loudly.'
Another says: 'Passengers filling in answers on their Sudokus, please accept they are just crosswords for the unimaginative and are not in any way more impressive just because they contain numbers.'
And in a jibe at 'Peeping Toms' she warns: 'Would the passenger in the red shirt pretending to read a paper but who is actually staring at that woman's chest please stop. You're not fooling anyone, you filthy pervert.'
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Millions of Tube travellers hear Emma's words of advice every year
Emma, 36, a married mother of two, of Altrincham, Cheshire, who is a professional voiceover artist and writer, scripted the lampoons herself. She said: 'They echo my true feelings about the Tube.
'I go to London a lot but I never use the Underground. I take taxis and buses whenever I can.
'The thought of being stuck in the Tube with strangers for minutes on end and having to listen to endless repeated messages of my own voice fills me with horror.
'I used to live in Highgate, North London, and take the Northern line every day. It's dreadful.'
One of Emma's most pointed barbs is directed at the insularity of Londoners.
In that alternative announcement she says: 'Residents of London are reminded that there are other places in Britain outside your stinking city and, if you remove your heads from your backsides for just a couple of minutes, you may realise the M25 is not the edge of the Earth.'
She insists that her website skits are 'not to be taken too seriously'. Moreover, she is not afraid to take a dig at herself and jokes in one announcement: 'Passengers are reminded that, like all voiceover artists, I probably look nothing like you imagine and may turn out to be somewhat of a disappointment.'
Emma began working on official announcements for the London Underground in 1999. Her voice can be heard on the Central, District, Circle, Victoria, Piccadilly, Metropolitan, Hammersmith and City and Bakerloo lines. Her send-ups are online at www.emmaclarke.com.
