Reasons to be cheerful in 2002

12 April 2012

You're back at work, it's cold and there's a war on. Stop whingeing, says

Nick Curtis

1 The Queen's Golden Jubilee. As well as an extra bank holiday, there'll be a year's worth of celebrations and street parties as Her Maj celebrates 50 years on the throne in June. Should keep royalists happy, may distract attention from the embarrassing antics of her children, and will give anarchists something to focus on as well.

2 The World Cup. Now that we've got the dates of the first England matches - England v Sweden, Sunday 2 June; Argentina v England, Friday 7 June, Nigeria v England, Wednesday 12 June - fans of the glorious game can spend the next few months discussing tactics, trying out exciting new ways of painting their faces and working themselves into a frenzy of tearful hero-worship over David Beckham. The rest of us know when to book our holidays, go shopping or buy an improving book.

3 Ditched Warblers. Scary Spice Mel B has parted ways with her record company, Mariah Carey has been paid £23 million to shut up and go away by EMI, and Virgin is still deciding whether to unload Baby Spice. Fingers crossed, eh?

4 Association of Photographers' Celebrate exhibition. The AOP Gallery, EC2, has an exhibition (until 26 January) comprised of pictures of things that make you smile - weddings, Christmas, carnivals. There's a snap of Dizzy Gillespie blowing out the candles on his birthday cake, with his cheeks puffed out like what they did when he played trumpet. Lovely.

5 Prices set to rise.Very cheering news for people who already own a place in London. But those despairing of ever getting on the property ladder should also take heart - prices are not going to rise anywhere near as exorbitantly as in 2001, and we have the cheapest mortgages in years.

6 The name's Bond ... The 20th Bond film will arrive in the summer, with Pierce Brosnan in the 007 role and the luscious Halle Berry in some revealing clothes. The second instalment of the Lord of the Rings, The Two Towers, will be here at the end of the year. Highbrows can console themselves with Judi Dench as Iris Murdoch in Iris, Kevin Spacey in The Shipping News, Cate Blanchett in Charlotte Gray, and the fact there won't be another Harry Potter merchandising extravaganza along for a while.

7 It's 2002. A year which has a pleasant symmetry to it. Those with ridiculously detailed digital clocks can look forward to two minutes and two seconds past two o'clock on 2 February, or 02.02.02, 02, 02, 2002. All of us can relish the fact that God-botherers and Nostradamus-junkies have stopped wittering about the millennium.

8 The death of style fascism. Fashion designers predict that next year's fashion trend will be an absence of trends. So we'll all be able to wear what we like without some starved harpy in a snood telling us it's too last season/year/century.

9 Weddings Claudia Schiffer 'n' Matthew Vaughn are planning to tie the knot at the stars' chapel of love, Skibo Castle. Macca 'n' Heather will probably marry (ahhh). Britney Spears 'n' Justin Timberlake are warming up for wedlock, thus ending the tedious wittering about her virginity. On the other hand, we can look forward, with hope, to a year when Nicole Kidman and George Clooney are still available.

10 Babies. After dropping their sprogs, Jordan and Liz Hurley should disappear for a while.

11 Steps have split. Now let's sort out Hear'Say and Atomic Kitten.

12 Rail and Tube travel will get better. Well, it can't get worse, can it?

13 Jeffrey Archer still in jail. Enough said.

14 Holidays. Will be cheaper and easier to choose thanks to the crisis in the tourism industry.

15. The euro. No more useless wallet-shrapnel after the holidays.

16. An end to foot and mouth. Resumption of hunting will be cheering to hunters, and saboteurs who have lost their mission in life. Foxes not so happy, obviously.

17 Top TV. New version of The Forsyte Saga, new real-time anti-terror drama, 24, from the US, new Steve Coogan/Alan Partridge series (and, please God, no more Steve Coogan/Dr Terrible dross). Plus, with Big Brother 3 and a host of other "reality shows" on the way, it's now statistically possible for everyone to be famous.

18 Eating out. It will be easier to book a table at top London restaurants (though not The Ivy) as long as recessionary fears and the downturn in tourism continue.

19 New Entertainment New Tom Stoppard trilogy! New musical of Chitty Chitty Bang Bang! New X-box and GameCube consoles from Microsoft and Nintendo! New Zadie Smith novel! Best of all - no new Salman Rushdie novel!

20 And finally ... Only 12 months until your next mince pie.

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