My London: Kyle MacLachlan

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When did you first visit London?

In the September of 1983. I had just finished filming Dune in Mexico City with Patrick Stewart and came over to Europe to visit him and some other friends. I hired a motorcycle as I thought it would be a nice way to travel around Europe. I was kind of na?ve; I thought it would be easy.

Where do you live and why?

In LA, because it's where the business is, and in Manhattan where my wife [publicist Desiree Gruber] has just bought an apartment. I'll probably be spending more time in New York now. It's a beautiful city.

If money were no object, where would you live?

Various places over the course of a year, such as Rome, Paris and maybe upstate New York because it's seasonal, which I miss. LA is very mild.

What is your idea of a perfect Friday night?

Dinner at a restaurant with my wife. Something regular like that, nothing too extravagant.

Are you a member of any club?

I'm a member of the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences - does that count? I'm not a member of any of the kind of clubs you have in London.

Do you have a local restaurant?

I love The Ivy because it's so bustling and 'sceney'. I also enjoy the more laid-back Moro in Exmouth Market as it has a vibe you don't find in America.

What is the most beautiful London landmark?

The parks - the way they're laid out and so well cared for.

And the ugliest?

I'm not too fond of Telecom Tower. I can see it from my hotel on Charlotte Street.

What is your favourite view? Neal Street on a warm afternoon. There are so many interesting people there.

Where is the most intimidating place in London?

In front of Buckingham Palace, because it's so massive and overwhelming.

What was the last book you bought?

Probably something on golf - I'm afraid I'm a fan. Over here, I've played at Sunningdale and up in Scotland.

What was the last play you saw in London and did you enjoy it?

Madonna in Up For Grabs. I think she was fine - she was perfect for the role.

What has been your most memorable night out?

A couple of weeks ago I went to Nobu. Tony Bennett was at the next table. And next to him was Bruce Willis.

When and where did you last get drunk?

Last night on red wine with my director at Bertorelli's in Soho.

When did you last go to a nightclub?

I think it might have been over here when I went to Red Cube. It was for the opening of a film.

Where do you exercise?

I like running outside; it's a nice way to find out about a city. I run around Regent's Park or Hyde Park if I'm feeling really ambitious. There is also a tiny ping-pong table in the theatre and I rest my brain playing with Woody [Harrelson, MacLachlan's co-star]. He's the champion, he always wins.

Which would you choose: Hyde Park or Hampstead Heath?

I've never been to Hampstead, so it would be Hyde Park.

Selfridges or Harvey Nicks?

Actually, Fortnum & Mason. To me, it's very English.

Where in London would you want to be taken on a date?

The Eye: romantic and educational at the same time.

Admit to one thing you've done in London that you've never told anyone before.

Ages ago, I went to Stringfellows. It was only for ten minutes - I didn't know what it was.

Who last saw you naked?

Luckily, my wife.

What is the first piece of advice you'd give a London tourist?

Don't wear shorts. Do ride on a double-decker bus, have a pint of Guinness at The Toucan, go to the basement of Fortnum & Mason and Westminster Abbey, walk through Hyde Park, have a martini at The Savoy and tea at The Dorchester.

What was the last conversation you had with a cabbie?

I was asking questions about cricket - what an over is etc. I want to learn the subtleties of the game.

If you were Mayor, what would you change?

I think the present Mayor is thinking of lengthening the time of the traffic lights. That is so wrong - London is in such gridlock.

What is the most overrated thing in London?

That the rain is terrible; it's not that bad.

What did you dream about last night?

I dreamed I was at the gym working out next to Arnold Schwarzenegger. I think it was a guilt dream. I haven't been working out for a while.

Have you ever been a victim of crime in London?

Only when I make phone calls from my hotel - the cost is daylight robbery.

Which shop could you not live without?

Lush. It's about the only shop over here that we don't already have in America.

What is the most expensive meal you've had in London and who were you with?

At Mr Chow in Knightsbridge. It wasn't so much the price of the food but that there were ten or so of us eating.

What is your favourite meal to cook at home? Something on the grill like vegetables with chicken or steak.

What last made you cry?

I don't cry much, I'm not very sentimental.

What would you put on the Trafalgar Square plinth?

Winston Churchill. Or Ali G.

What is your life philosophy?

Take it easy.

Where in London would you have your ashes scattered?

Sunningdale golf course.

If your house were on fire, which three things would you rescue?

My two Labradors and the Jack Russell I share with my wife.

Kyle MacLachan is performing in On An Average Day at The Comedy Theatre until 27 October (020 7369 1731).

More celebrities reveal what they love and loathe about the capital in My London

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