Last year, the Old Red Lion played host to Rabbit, a slick, brittle drama about affluent London twentysomethings that went on to win a hatful of new writing awards. I was one of its few naysayers, so perhaps my dislike of this very similar piece will again be shown up as folly come prize time.
I somehow doubt it, however, as Dan Muirden clumps through his depressingly misogynistic script, whereas Rabbit's Nina Raine at least attempted to match her chosen milieu in the urbanity stakes.
Muirden offers a dauntingly unappealing cast of characters, in which the women are either hopelessly duped (the girlfriend) or ridiculously naïve (the mistress) and the men are self-deceiving bores.
Thus, for the overlong duration, we struggle to care as Nick screws around, even though he's met "the one", and then has to deal, interminably with the none-too-scintillating consequences.
There is one very funny line about a potential new squeeze - "Apparently in relationships we're 92 per cent compatible. And I'm only 77 per cent compatible with myself" - but as it arrives more than three-quarters of the way through, it's likely that all good men and women will have long since mislaid the ability to laugh.
Muirden tries constantly to nail the foibles of the dating/mating game, but has flat-footed banalities where insights should be.
Tom Harper's Nick has a one-note tone and expression of anguish, which is tiresome given that he is entirely responsible for all his troubles.
Sparky Victoria Shalet fares best as the betrayed Lucy, although why she doesn't ditch Nick as soon as he starts on about her ovaries is a mystery.
Director Jamie Harper manages to create some sense of momentum despite the circularity of the writing but, onstage or off, there are no real winners here.
Until 21 April (020 7837 7816. www.oldredliontheatre.co.uk).
THe Things Good Men Do
Old Red Lion
St John Street, EC1V 4NJ
