The Forsaken

Zoe Williams10 April 2012

It's always nice to see a major Hollyflick peopled entirely by unknowns, although there doesn't turn out to be much to say for Kerr Smith, Brendan Fehr and Izabella Miko, except that we now know who to call if Marky Mark, Ethan Hawke and Kate Hudson all fall down a manhole and perish.

Sean (Smith) is an ordinary Joe, driving across America to deliver a vintage Merc and attend his sister's wedding. Bad things start to happen almost immediately, but as it turns out, these are unrelated inconveniences just to hold our attention until the real action starts.

Enter Nick (Fehr), a hitch-hiker - you can tell he's on the side of the angels because he launches into a coruscating attack on modern capitalism over their first motorside snack. "The generation before us sold their innocence for 200 satellite stations," he says. OK, so it's a bit inchoate as political philosophies go, but this is American youth - what do you want, blood?

If so, then you've struck gold, since there's more gore here than I've seen in a long time, up to and including the sex scenes, which are revolting beyond belief. There are vampires on the loose - from the moment they first appear they are obviously wrong 'uns on account of the fact that they're not entirely white and they pronounce "everything", Ev-er-ee-thing.

Nick, it turns out, is not a dosser at all, but a hunter, which is a lot like Buffy the Vampire Slayer, only without breasts or a sense of humour. Megan ( Miko), who appears in a caff doing the most amusing imitation of mental/ physical illness celluloid has ever seen, is infected with vampireness.

Nick is also infected. Sean becomes infected by Megan. Like most vampiric themes there's a strong HIV subtext here, made stronger by the fact that you can take drugs to delay the onset of vampire-ness, but it will get you in the end. Unless, that is, you can find the original source of the infection and kill it on hallowed ground (the Aids analogy stops at the drugs, folks - don't try the stake-through-the-heart stunt at home). All our heroes cough a lot. Just once, I'd like to see someone cough in a mainstream film who just had a cough.

This moves along at a fair old lick, and has a soundtrack full of Wheatus (or some band very like them), so the chances of becoming bored are almost nil. Beyond that, it's just schlock teen horror for video nights.

The Forsaken
Cert: cert18

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