Allegra Geller, my character in eXistenZ is a superstar designer of computer games. She loves to create and play them - it makes her feel capable and strong and good. But she doesn't like talking about her work or the process of testing new games. She's shy: she's not comfortable with other people and I understand that because I'm shy too.
Computers are a new passion for me. I use Photoshop and Quark to paint and scan photos and do collage. It's kind of magical because you can create anything. I really lose myself in it, so I understood how you can lose yourself in a game. For the past year and a half I've been an Apple Master - it's a programme involving people who are both masters in their own fields and also love Macs. You give talks about how you use it, and go to workshops.
But Allegra is not all she seems. She plays different parts at the same time, which is one of the reasons she's so awkward. This is stuff you can only understand on second viewing: all the pauses at the beginning are because she's finding what to say and discovering her character - trying to stay focused because she wants to win the game. As the film goes on, the pace picks up and things happen faster as Allegra gets to know herself.
The script of eXistenZ is really funny and the director, David Cronenberg, was gentle and inspiring. A lot of the greatest, most insane film-makers are also the most low-key and easy-going because they get a lot of it out in their work. I'm not like most of my characters, otherwise I wouldn't be playing them.
eXistenZ opens Fri 30 Apr.
