"Stop punching orang-utans". It may not be the official slogan of the World Society for the Protection of Animals, but compere Robin Ince's opening plea certainly echoed the WSPA's philosophy.
At Sunday's lengthy fundraiser that briefly threatened to become an endurance test, a joyous night was had by all.
First on was Chris Addison who, like Ince, is unashamedly exasperated by modern life and brilliantly dissected the differences between English restraint and US brashness.
By contrast, Tim Vine went straight for the punchline jugular with a fusillade of funnies, such as one about the elephant crying at a piano refrain: "Recognise the song? I recognise the ivory." Howard Read and animated sidekick Little Howard deserve a mention in dispatches, as does sparky singleton Lucy Porter.
But the first-half highlight was musical comedian Tim Minchin. His stand-up was so-so but at the piano he delivered a sublime jaunty number combining sugary pop and rhyming vulgarity.
After the interval, the pace quickened as hyperactive Phil Nichol demonstrated how he defuses street violence with jazz ballet. Drunken clown Jeremy Lion ("pleasuring children since 1986") tipsily told the tale of Goldie Hawn and the Three Beers.
Posh Will Smith and veteran Norman Lovett both earnt further mentions in dispatches, for respectively, puffed-up self-deprecation and oddball monologue. It was left to Bill Bailey to close with prime cuts from 2007's Tinselworm tour.
He revealed that he is too hairy for tattoos, sang gibberish lyrics and suggested that David Beckham joining a US soccer team was like Einstein turning up for a pub quiz.
All this plus a climactic duet with Tim Minchin, while Robin Ince in a bear suit was kicked by Bailey's tiny son. No orang-utans hurt then, just the compere.
Stand Up For Animals
HMV Apollo
Queen Caroline Street, W6 9QH
